


Broken Realities

by PracticalSuccubus



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira and Goro fight twice, Akira's a hurt boi, He just has pain and trauma okay, M/M, P5R Spoilers, Pain boyfs, So does Goro but y'know, TAKES PLACE IN 3RD SEMESTER, lots of yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PracticalSuccubus/pseuds/PracticalSuccubus
Summary: After Maruki leaves Le Blanc on 2/2, Akira has second thoughts...
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro & Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Kudos: 48





	Broken Realities

After Maruki left Le Blanc, Akira’s hands were clenched tightly into fists. He couldn’t believe this. This...goddamned madman had pierced him, too. Dammit! He should’ve never said anything about Goro to Maruki. But, how the hell could he have known he would’ve done this? And now, if he was being honest, Goro’s words were going in one ear and out the other. He wasn’t really paying attention, that is, until Goro had said his life was trivial. 

“Your life isn’t trivial, Goro!” Akira suddenly protested, not even flinching when the brunet detective seemed to wave him off. Akira could feel his anger boiling hotly, and it grew and bubbled over when Goro mentioned not wanting his pity. Before he even realized what he was doing, his hand had gone up, and he slapped Goro across the face. Bluntly. 

“What the _hell_ was that for?!” Goro exclaimed, glaring at him and holding his cheek. 

“Caring about you is not _goddamned pity_ , you self-absorbed prick!” Akira yelled. When Goro didn’t respond, he continued. “I’ve always cared about you! Ever since we started spending time together! It’s not fucking pity! But you want to know exactly what it is?” 

“You know what? Yes. Enlighten me, Kurusu. What is it exactly?” Goro asked, glaring the raven. 

“Love. I love you, Goro Akechi. And I’m pretty sure that’s the _entire_ reason you’re standing here right now, because I how was I supposed to know Maruki would fucking do this? I let it slip during one of our counselling sessions that I was in love with you, but I had no idea how to tell you, especially since you were still working for _Him_ at the time. No doubt you’d try to blackmail me with it,” Akira scoffed. Goro’s eyes were wide as he listened to what Akira was saying. There was no way in hell…

No way in hell Akira felt the same way he did. 

Akira took a deep breath, and set his phone down on the bar. “So, since you think that way, I’ve decided. You want to fight Maruki, and disappear from my life once again? Fine. I lost you once, and when you come back to me on Christmas Eve, and you say you’re going to turn yourself in for me, only for you to return to my side once again? If you don’t want to be here, that's fine. Just don’t involve me in your goddamned suicide again. I’m done here,” Akira said, starting to march out of Le Blanc. Before he could fully, however, Goro grabbed his wrist. 

“What are you talking about? What do you mean you’re done?” Goro demanded. Akira pulled his wrist out of Goro’s hold, and turned, still glaring at him. 

“I meant what I said. I’m done getting my heart trampled on. Done having to sacrifice everything that I deeply want for others. I’ve had to do that my _entire goddamned life_. I thought it’d finally end once I started to get comfortable around here, but no. It just followed me.” Akira finished storming out of Le Blanc, and Goro was quickly going after him. 

“Don’t you know what’s at stake, you idiot?!” he yelled. Akira whirled around, and stomped up to Goro, getting in his face. 

“I do. I just don’t care anymore. Why should I care about everyone else, when no one seems to give a single _fuck_ about me?! I’m done putting everyone else above myself. So, like I said. Feel free to fight Maruki. **I’m** not joining you. Now, do me one goddamned favor, and don’t follow me. If I want to be found, I’ll come back.” 

Goro just watched as the raven Phantom Thief Leader disappeared into the night.   
~ 

Inokashira park. 

That’s were Goro eventually found him. He was curled up, sitting on a park bench. Goro sat next to him. Akira didn’t lift his head from his legs. 

“I thought I’d find you here…” 

Akira lifted his head. “Don’t worry. My phone’s back at Le Blanc. I told Morgana I’d come find you.” Akira put his head back down. 

“Just once. Just once, I want to be selfish,” Akira muttered. 

“What do you mean?” Goro asked. 

“I want to do what I want. I know...I know this isn’t our reality. In our reality, you’re...gone. I don’t want to let go of you again,” Akira said softly. 

“When was it? Was there any defining moment?” Goro asked. 

“No. It was...gradual. The more I spent time with you...the more you texted me….the more I fell. When we...when we fought in Mementos, can I tell you what I was planning?” Akira asked softly. 

“Enlighten me. Nothing illegal, correct?”

“No. Until you called it off when we were only halfway done, I...I wanted to keep going. Until we were both exhausted. I wanted to just...stare at you, until...until I got to kiss you. That kiss was going to count as my confession. I’d been pining for you for so long. But I never got to. And then..everything happened. I wanted to confess to you after your Sperm Donor’s Palace, but then…” Akira’s voice trailed off. Goro knew. He snorted at what he had called his sorry excuse for a father, but other than that, Goro had no words. 

“I couldn’t forget about you. No matter what I did, every little thing reminded me of you. I kept your glove with me at all times. Then, after we defeated the God of Control, you were back. It was Christmas Eve, and I thought it was a miracle. When you said you were going to turn yourself in, so I wouldn’t have to, I was already making plans to visit you every chance I got. And now, in this reality, I have you. Right here. I can’t...I can’t lose you again, Goro,” Akira’s voice hitched as fresh tears started to come up. “I want to be selfish. So fucking selfish. I want to be in this reality, where I still have you. But...I know I can’t do that.” 

Akira buried his face more in his knees, and Goro was still at a loss for words. Both of them were silent, with Akira letting out the occasional sob. 

“I’m not going to lie. You’re the first one, Akira,” Goro said softly. 

“F-First one?” Akira hiccuped, sniffling and wiping his eyes as he looked up at the brunet ex-detective. 

“The first one I’ve...ever gotten these feelings for. I’ve told you how my life has been before. I’m not used to these types of feelings. But, even in time away from you, my thoughts would always drift back to you. I never knew why. It took awhile for me to figure out my feelings for you. When I told you I hated you, I didn’t actually mean it. I just meant that I hated you for making me feel this way. I’ve...never had someone who cared about me like this,” Goro admitted. 

“Goro…” Akira said softly. He sniffled a bit more, then curled himself so he could scoot closer to the brunet. 

“Why don’t we make one last deal, Akira?” Goro suggested. 

“Depends on what it is,” Akira said. 

“You come back to the Phantom Thieves. Help us take on Maruki. In return, tonight shall be your night of selfishness. You and I can do anything you want tonight,” Goro lined out. 

“Anything?” Akira asked. 

“Anything,” Goro confirmed. 

“...I want to go to your apartment. Spend the night there,” Akira said after a while. Goro stood up, and extended a hand to him. Akira took it, and stood up. 

“Want to keep holding my hand?” Goro asked. 

“Yes,” Akira said. 

“Let’s get going, then,” Goro said. As the pair of Thieves walked down the street, both of them were silent, until Akira decided to break it. 

“Hey, Goro…?” 

“Yes?” 

“Do you...Do you really think your life is trivial?” 

The question made Goro stop walking and stare at the ground. Akira stopped and watched him. 

“You know how everything’s been for me, Akira. Everything for me was a facade. All I was trying to do in life, my one goal, was to bring down Shido. And I couldn’t even do that much. Bouncing around from orphanage to orphanage wasn’t exactly the ideal life, either,” Goro sighed as he continued to walk. “Hell, I don’t even know how I’m alive in this reality.” 

Akira had started walking again the moment Goro had to keep up with him. “I think I know why…,” he said softly. 

“And what is it?” Goro asked. 

“Me. I told you before you found me that I let it slip to Maruki that I loved you. Seems even though I know this isn’t right, and I’m aware of everything, I still haven’t broken out of it,” Akira said, looking up at the sky. He could feel a few tears escaping. He almost wanted to let go of Goro’s hand, and run back to the park. This deal was stupid. He should’ve refused. He wanted to keep Goro around. 

Yet, that selfishness was something that couldn’t be granted. 

Sitting on the train together, Akira rubbed at his eyes. Goro hadn’t said a word, which he had expected. They both sat silently until they reached another station. Goro stood up, and lightly tugged him. He followed like an obedient puppy, as even though Goro had occupied his thoughts for a long time now, he still had no idea where the ex ace detective lived. 

As they rode up the elevator, Akira was about to ask Goro why they were getting higher, but then he remembered. All of the pain Masayoshi Shido put the brunet through, it pained even the raven to think about it. He knew it was much worse for Goro, however, who had had to live through all of it and not just react to it. They exited the elevator, and Goro led him to his apartment door, and opened it. When Akira walked inside, he noted how fancy it was. Much too large for just one person, though. 

“What do you think, Akira?” Goro asked, closing the door. 

“Fancy,” Akira said softly. Goro nodded. He took a moment before looking around. Akira gave him a small smile and let go of his hand. Goro crossed his arms. 

“Now that we’re here, what else did you want to do?” Goro asked. 

“Honestly?” 

“Honestly.” 

Akira took a deep breath, and looked Goro straight in the eyes. “I want to have sex with you.” When Goro went to open his mouth and protest, Akira held up a finger. “Ah. You said anything I want to do tonight.” Goro opened and closed his mouth a bit before sighing. 

“I guess I did. I shall indulge you, Akira. But, on one stipulation,” Goro said. 

“And that is?” Akira asked. 

“I want to be on top.” 

Akira blinked, silent for a moment. A light pink blush started to grow across his cheeks. Goro raised his eyebrows, but when Akira nodded, he was a bit shocked. He shook his head slightly, and took the raven’s hand again. 

“Well then, shall I show you where my bedroom is, then, Akira?” he purred. Akira’s blush grew, but he nodded. The brunet led Akira out of the kitchen towards the stairs. He honestly hated how fancy his apartment was. It was too much for just him. He felt so isolated at times. Once they were in his bedroom, Akira let his jacket fall to the floor. Goro took his jacket and scarf off, putting them away slowly. Akira took his shirt off, and tossed it onto his jacket. Goro took his own shirt off, and turned to Akira. 

Akira would be lying if he said his eyes started to wander. Two years in the Metaverse for Goro seemed to have toned his chest quite well. He never really knew how much, though, until just now. Goro walked over, trailing a finger up from Akira’s shoulder to his chin. 

“You’re staring, Akira~. Like what you see, do you?” 

“Of course I do. You have no idea how many times I lied awake at night thinking about this. Last time you had your shirt off around me was when we went to the bathhouse together,” Akira admitted

“Fantasizing about me, I see. Well then, let me see how to go about this...” Goro walked Akira backwards. Akira fell onto the bed, and Goro climbed on top of him immediately, pinning his shoulders onto the bed. Akira’s face began heating up immensely. Goro lowered his head, with his mouth going right next to Akira’s ear. 

_”I wonder how many times you fantasized about this one~”_   
~

The morning of 2/3, Akira woke up first. He was still wrapped in Goro’s arms. He saw his pants were somehow way across the room, same with Goro’s. He had no idea where his underwear was, though. 

Perhaps that could keep them occupied, and they wouldn’t go through with everything today. Akira quickly shook his head, though. No. Like it or not, he had to do this. They had to shatter Maruki’s Reality. They….

This was the right way to go about things, right? He had gotten everything he wanted the night before. Goro confessing back to him, being pounded into a bed by him, making sounds he wasn’t sure were exactly human. Him and Goro cuddling until they fell asleep in each others’ arms. Everything was perfect. 

Ah, right. 

That’s why they had to do this. 

This perfection was...false. 

Goro shifted next to him, and groaned softly as he started waking up. He started to kiss Akira’s neck as he did so, Akira closing his eyes and relishing in it. 

“Mmmm, good morning, Akira.”

“Morning, Goro.” 

Akira kissed Goro’s head, holding him closer. Drinking it in. Goro’s scent, the feel of his hair and skin, the tenderness of the moment. Goro’s body weight on the bed. The feel of his lips on his neck and shoulder. “You get five more minutes like this, then we have to go,” Goro muttered into his shoulder. Akira nodded. 

“Can I have one last request from you?” he asked softly. 

“And what’s that?” Goro asked, opening his eyes and looking at Akira. 

“Can I...have one of your sweater vests? Because once we do this, I just….want something of yours that smells like you. I’ve...I’ve had your glove for too long.” Fuck. He couldn’t cry. He had made this deal with Goro. He was going to help fight Maruki. 

But now he’d lose his new boyfriend in the process. The one he had dreamed of being with for so long, now. He let out a small hiccup, and Goro gently caressed his cheek. 

“I...know I made this deal with you last night. It’s too late to go back on it, isn’t it? Especially after everything we did,” Akira let out a half-hearted laugh as tears started to escape his eyes. Goro pulled Akira into him more as the raven-haired Leader began to weep. 

If he was being honest, now. Especially after the night before, now Goro was unsure on what he wanted to do. After finding out Akira loved him back, Goro had been at a loss for words. Now that they were together like this, it didn’t seem fair. Yet, he knew that this, as perfect as it was, had to go. This wasn’t the correct reality. They had to do this. It was the only way. Goro let Akira cry it out for a while, and as the boy’s tears seemed to soften, Goro nodded. 

“I’ll let you have a couple, alright? Before we go, we’ll put them in your room.”   
~

At Le Blanc, Akira was holding tight onto one of Goro’s sweater vests in particular. An argyle blue one. Goro’s favorite one. His hands shook as he laid it on his bed. Goro put his hand on Akira’s shoulder. 

“Are you ready?”

“No. But we have to do this, whether I’m ready or not.”   
~

Akira let go of the Monacopter, watching his friends’ expressions as he started to fall. Goro was calling out to him, but he turned away. He had to stay focused. Maruki wanted him? He was going to get him.   
~

2/13.

So much had happened. 

Akira had cried his heart out when he awoke, finding himself in the juvenile detention center. Of course he had been there. That was supposed to be his true destination, after all, before Goro had come in, saying he’d confess to the police instead. Now that he was out, however, he was…..alone. 

The group of ex-Phantom Thieves had all left hours ago. Futaba had taken Morgana with her, which left Akira alone in the attic of Le Blanc. He was holding Goro’s favorite argyle blue sweater vest close to his chest. His eyes shut tightly, letting the memories of the brunet detective was over him. Their final night together, where they had officially gotten together, only to be viciously ripped apart by Fate. 

He let his tears soak silently into his pillow. He wouldn’t let them affect Goro’s sweater vest.   
~

The next day was absolute hell. 

Having to help Sojiro in the cafe as happy couples flitted in and out. On the outside, he kept his face neutral, but on the inside, he was torn to shreds. His heart had been ground to dust, and he wanted nothing more than to just disappear already. He wanted the floor to swallow him up, and let his existence fade away. 

Nearing the evening, Sojiro finished closing up the place, and turned to Akira. “Hey, you got any plans for tonight? With anyone special, perhaps?” Sojiro asked, a knowing smile making itself known on his face. 

“No. I don’t...have anyone,” Akira said softly. Sojiro’s expression changed to that of concern. Akira’d been acting distant ever since he had picked him up from the juvenile detention center the day before. He had thought initially it was because he had been locked up under false pretenses, but he was sure it would’ve faded by now, now that he was out and had been surrounded by his friends. 

“Is something the matter, Akira? You know you can talk with me if something’s got you down,” Sojiro said. 

“Everything’s….fine. I just don’t really….have anyone for tonight. Honest,” Akira said softly. He couldn’t look up at Sojiro. Couldn’t even muster a fake smile. Sojiro opened his mouth to say something, but a smooth voice interrupted him. 

“Are you sure you don’t have anyone?”

The bell above the door jingled, and Sojiro and Akira turned to it, seeing Goro walk into the cafe. He went over to Akira, his arms outstretched for a hug, but the raven dodged around him, moving far away from the brunet. 

“Akira? What’s wrong?” Goro asked, seemingly confused. Akira was glaring daggers at the ex-detective. 

“Why are you here?” he asked bluntly. 

“I thought I’d come and surprise you, then we could go to dinner,” Goro said innocently. 

“Really? And then, are you going to disappear again? Y’know, rip my heart out a third time, since apparently, twice wasn’t enough for you,” Akira said. 

“Aki-”

“No. I don’t want to hear it from you. I don’t want to see you. Because I know what’s going to happen. I’m going to get my hopes up once again. Everything’s going to be happy and perfect for maybe a few months, and then you’re going to die again. I...I’m so fucking tired of this sick game of yours,” Akira said. 

“Akira, I’m not-”

“I don’t want to hear anything from you. I don’t want to hear any of your excuses, any of your bullshit! I’m done, Goro. I’m done with your damn tricks. Just….leave. Now.” Akira said, his voice trembling. 

‘I’m not lea-”

“LEAVE! Or, if you _insist_ on staying here, just leave _me_ the fuck alone!” Akira yelled. He ran upstairs to his room, Goro went to follow, but a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him. Goro turned and saw Sojiro standing behind him. 

“I think it’d be best if you left,” the cafe owner said sharply. 

“But-”

“Just leave him be. You’ve caused him a lot of grief.” 

Goro was about to protest more, but Sojiro paraded him out of the cafe, and locked the front door. He could hear crying coming from upstairs. He sighed, and went up to the attic. Akira was sitting on his bet, holding one of the sweater vests tightly to his chest. Sojiro sat down next to him on the bed, and Akira leaned on him. 

“Why…? Why does he do this to me? Why….Why do I still love him?” Akira sobbed. 

“Akira…,” Sojiro said softly. 

“I...I want to see him. But I don’t. I don’t want him up here, but I do. I….I don’t know what to do…,” Akira sobbed. Sojiro put his arm around Akira, and let him cry into him for a while. As Akira’s cries started to soften, Sojiro let out another soft sigh. 

“Akira…? You said you still love him, correct?” Sojiro asked. Akira hiccuped and nodded. “I see. Now, I don’t understand every little thing that’s been going on between you two, but after what I saw tonight, if what you said is true, and after all of that, you still love him, then I think you should give him a chance to explain himself, once you’re ready. If after that, you still feel the same way, then you can make your decision then, alright?” Sojiro saint. Akira sniffled and nodded. 

The two talked with each other a little more before Sojiro noticed the time. Making sure Akira would be okay, Sojiro left Le Blanc. He didn’t see Goro anywhere when he left, which was good. He didn’t think Akira was ready for an explanation tonight. 

Once it was clear that Sojiro was gone for the night, Akira heard a noise. He turned his head, and his eyes widened when he saw Goro was clinging desperately to the window. If not for his current emotional turmoil, he would’ve laughed at the ex-detective’s current predicament. He opened his window a small margin. 

“Akira. Please let me in. Let me talk to you.” 

Akira sighed softly. He didn’t want to talk, but then again, he didn’t want Goro to fall. He opened his window a little more, and Goro tumbled into the room, sprawling out on the floor. Akira quietly shut the window as Goro got himself situated. When he turned to the former detective, Goro was just about to sit on his bed. 

“Don’t. I want this quick, then I want you out. I don’t have the strength to go through this _again_ , Akechi.” Akira said coldly. Goro stood, and looked at Akira. 

“You-”

“Make. It. Quick. Akechi.” 

Goro swallowed. He….honestly hadn’t been expecting this in the slightest. He had thought Akira would be ecstatic that he was back. They’d go to dinner, have a special evening. 

“Please. Just. Let me explain, Akira. This isn’t-”

“Let me guess,” Akira interrupts again, “This isn’t how you thought this was going to go, is it? You thought I’d just fly into your arms again, and follow you to dinner on Valentine’s Day. Did I hit the mark?” 

“Y-Yes. But please. Give me a chance here. It seems that somehow, in this reality, I was never dead. Someone found me behind the Diet Building. They got me help, for whatever reason.” Goro explained. 

“Then go out with them. I don’t give a fuck, Akechi.” Akira said. 

“I don’t want whoever helped me, Akira! I want you!” 

The attic became pin-drop silent as the two stared at each other. They suddenly surged forward, lips coming together as they held each other tightly. Akira lost his footing, starting to fall backwards. Goro quickly hooked an arm around him as the both started to fall. They landed on Akira’s bed, Akira being pinned under Goro. They came apart for air, their breaths mingling together. 

“It’s always been you. Ever since we met, I’ve only wanted you, Akira…” 

“Goro…” 

They came together again, Goro holding Akira closer to him. As they kissed, they situated themselves on Akira’s bed, and Goro began moving his lips down to Akira’s neck. Kissing it, giving it small nips. Akira letting out soft, breathy moans. 

“Akira…..My Akira…”

“Always…”  
~

The next morning when Sojiro got to Le Blanc, the first thing he did was go and check on Akira. The poor boy was in a rough shape last evening. He climbed the stairs, and immediately went back down. He had once seen a glimpse, but there had been clothes strewn across the room, and he had seen a very brief glance of Goro. 

…

Up in the attic, Goro started to wake up slightly. He yawned and stretched his arms before putting them back around Akira, who was starting to wake up as well. When he opened his eyes, Goro saw a flash of panic, and Akira woke up fully. Goro gently held akira closer, and kissed his nose. Akira calmed down considerably, and snuggled into him. 

“You don’t have to worry, Akira. I promise you. You will always wake up in my arms like this. I won’t leave your side ever again.”


End file.
